Life By Design

“When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life”. ~Greg Anderson

All Is Not As It Appears!

“Help me! Help me!”

“How can I help youuuuu if I can’t find youuuuuuuuu!”

These two lines are part of a story told me by a rowing teammate many years ago.  (Tom, if you’re reading this, and I screw it up please feel free to set me straight.)  My teammate is kayaking and hears, in the shrill voice of an older British woman, “Help me! Help me!” He searches frantically in the direction of the voice.

Help me! Help me!”

Ultimately, he calls into the brush, “How can I help youuuuuu, if I can’t find youuuuuuu?”

In my work as a personal coach, there are times during a session when Tom’s story  plays out in my head.  As I listen, in my mind, I  hear, “Heeeeeelp me,” in the accented, shrill voice that Tom used in the retelling of his tale.  There is a hint of curiosity and playfulness in the way his voice rode the “e” in help. In his voice, was revealed the sense that there is a truth that was not being told; there was a subtle subterfuge.

The voice playfully calls out to me: “Heeeelp me! Heeeeeeeelp me! It’s a signal that all is not as it appears. I realize I need to lean in and listen.  My client is usually in the midst of a story. It might be a tale of their day, their week, or their life.  I know this particular voice as a sign that I am caught up in an unintentional subterfuge. I believe the story I am hearing is the truth, and for that short period of time, I forgot to be curious.

I can almost hear the echo of the “youuuuuuuu” as the voice fades into the texture of the cattail brush.  In my mind’s eye, I see the pursing of Tom’s lips as he attempts to keep a straight face.  The anxiety builds, and I try to find the real you to whom I am speaking.

The coaching conversation is one of curiosity and discovery.  What important values are revealed as we speak?  How does this story, or this conversation, point to your life’s purpose?  What is important to you about the story?   In essence, I invite the client to show himself-his true self.  I hold the possibility of the client living in fulfillment in the present moment.

As a personal coach, my purpose is to help the client recognize his or her  unique gifts, to rediscover their true self.  Our true selves are just waiting to be heard.

Get curious about your own stories and enjoy the discovery that your curiosity brings.  We, all of us, in our essence, and at our core, are magnificent, and  full of knowledge.  We are also full of love and exuberance.  We each hold the key to our own fulfilled and abundant life. Sometimes, we simply need to look a little closer, and really listen, to find it.


Annamarie Fernyak


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